A continued theme in my life over the past few years has been God really trying to get my attention. He wants my FULL attention. It's a struggle.
I live, as I have said before, in a small house with a big family. I homeschool our two younger sons, which is really a full time job (especially since one has some learning struggles), and lead the prayer team for our youth ministry. I also recently began writing for a couple of content sites and blogging for two Christian publishers. So my days are full and usually anything but quiet.
I start every day with my Lord through the Word. He speaks to me, fresh manna every day for what He knows I have ahead of me. I pray: for my husband, our household, our families, myself, my monthly youth leaders, our youth, the moms, other concerns. I leave that time ready for the day.
However, often by midmorning I have forgotten. The kids are arguing. I'm out of dog food. The van's out of gas so in a split second Alan needs a ride to work in the middle of science class. Oops, meant to start the crockpot dinner for tonight. Oh, drum practice is starting. The kids are arguing. The puppy didn't tell us she needed to go out :-/ I pull a couple articles to write. I look at my to-do list and realize nothing is to-done. Dinner. Reading with kids. Bedtime. The kids are arguing. Make sure there's a plate in the fridge for Alan to heat up when he gets home at midnight. I crawl into bed thinking, I'll do the dishes in the morning and what did you say to me this morning, Lord? I'm so sorry I forgot it along the way.
Then there's all the ways I tangle myself up independent of daily tasks. Was that the right verse to post out from the moms' page? Was that blog too transparent? (I was so reassured the other day to read Lindsee's post on the Living Proof blog about her own transparency trip-ups!)Did I pray seriously enough for (fill in the blank request that came through during the day)? Am I leading the moms rightly? I'm a loser at teaching Luke his multiplication. Noah's never going to be able to write cogently.
Yet God's been so clear so many times over the past couple years. Listen to Me. Give me your full attention. Get rid of distractions. Quit head-tripping over doing what I've told you to do (which is--love your family, homeschool your kids, lead the moms, pray). Lock in with Me and I'm going to set everything in right order. Because it's always about you and Me. I asked Him to give me verses for the year ahead on my last birthday and He said:
"For the Lord spoke thus to me with a strong hand, and instructed me that I should not walk in the way of this people, saying:
“Do not say, ‘A conspiracy,’
Concerning all that this people call a conspiracy,
Nor be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.
The Lord of hosts, Him you shall hallow;
Let Him be your fear,
And let Him be your dread." Isaiah 8:11-13
Those aren't scary verses to me, as they might sound out of context, but rather, they are so firmly comforting to me. It's like He is taking my face in His hands and saying, all that matters is Me. Don't freak out about what others are saying and doing. Don't get tangled up in head trips. I am the only One who you need to listen to...do that and we are totally cool. The next verse starts, "He will be a sanctuary"...and He is.
I want to be rightly listening and obedient...and understanding His grace is sufficient for everything else. Recently several of us moms realized we were "thumping in the spin cycle" and need a reset. Mine meant ditching my FB app, turning off my phone a lot (then putting it in a drawer!), re-evaluating our school curriculum and making changes, re-evaluating my kids' free time, loading Bible study podcasts to listen to when I walk, Word Word Word and more Word because that puts everything into order! It's a struggle. Some days I am totally on top of it. Others, not so much.
But that's where grace comes in. It's a process. The Christian life every day this side of heaven is a WALK not an arrival. I read this this morning:
"The men in charge of the renovation worked hard and made steady progress. They restored the Temple of God according to its original design and strengthened it. " 2 Chronicles 24:13
Super encouraging! Work hard, make steady progress. Restore and strengthen. As my pastor always reminds us, diligence (you try, you fail, you try, you fail...you keep trying) is what God asks for, not perfection. And "God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." Hebrews 11:6b
So I guess this whole post (long, sorry, if you stuck with me this far the Lord bless you, I may just have written it for me) is about--what has God been saying to YOU over and over? Oh, He is so gracious to keep saying it, isn't He? If there's a continuing theme in your life that feels like you keep falling short of---work hard. Make steady progress. Restore what He wants in your life (hint: it will always have to do with relationship with Him). Strengthen it.
Si se puede--yes we can, " For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him." Philippians 2:13
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