Ask

Do you ever have those passing daydreams? About big or small things, doesn't matter. A new car with seat-warmers (indulgent, but wonderful. Oh, and paid off). Salmon for dinner (the price of it isn't in the grocery budget. We're having leftover spaghetti). No upper back pain (absolutely serious, it's a condition called "LORDosis"--yes really). So I am talking about both trivial and decently important things that float through our heads during the course of a day. I realized today it happens probably a hundred times in my day. Maybe someday I'll count just for the same of counting.

Yet I also realized I hardly ever pray for these things. I think about, imagine, yearn for them...but I rarely ask God for them. Too ridiculous, I think. Or too trivial (although I do pray for and nearly always receive a parking space in the first aisle at Walmart). Or too far-fetched (really? An interior decorator and a big budget? Smile). But this morning I read this and it's stuck with me all day:

Ask the Lord for rain in the spring, for he makes the storm clouds. And he will send showers of rain so every field becomes a lush pasture. (Zechariah 10:1 NLT)

God says, simply, ask Me.

He's the One who sends the rain in just the amounts to create lush fields. Whatever is on my mind, He says, just get in the habit of asking Him for it. As any good parent with a kid you love like crazy yet who peppers you all day long with requests, He will decide what's good and what's not for me. And sometimes you just love to dump blessings and yes-es on your kids just because all their asking is just so endearing.

I have a thing I do everyday when I open up my Bible. I take my bookmark and randomly stick it somewhere else in my Word and when I am done reading and praying, I open up to the bookmark and journal what's underlined on that page. Almost without exception and down to specific words, I find it confirms what God has already said to me as I've read. Today my bookmark fell to these verses in Luke 11:

"Lord, teach us to pray....And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." (Luke 11:9, 10 NLT)

So, I think I'll pray for an interior decorator, the neighbor's dogs to quit barking, a breeze when I'm walking...oh yeah and always those parking spaces. Even though I still ate leftover spaghetti for dinner, I felt like Jesus taught me something about prayer today.

BOOK REVIEW: Sent

Don't we all love reading stories about other people's lives? Sent: How One Ordinary Family Traded the American Dream for God's Greater Purpose, by Hilary Alan, is a fascinating look into one family's response to God's calling upon their lives. I would say "radical calling," but really, does God call any other way?

Hilary and her husband Curt were living an upper middle class life on the East Coast when God's call came. They loved Jesus completely and were fully involved in their church. They had two beautiful children, one pre teen and one a young teenager, who loved Jesus too. Curt had a well-paying, upwardly mobile job that afforded them a new house, new cars, and all the comforts of their hearts. But both Curt and Hilary knew that Curt wasn't doing what he was created to do. He enthusiastically provided for his family, but he knew deep inside his current job didn't fit him.

Responding to a short term mission trip call to Indonesia a year after the tsunami, Curt was changed and Hilary immediately knew this was what he was meant to do, so she and the kids threw their support behind him. Leaving everything behind here in the States, they moved to southeast Asia for three years to live in a Muslim village and impart their lives to people rebuilding their own.

Hilary's book is both captivating and challenging. She doesn't gloss over the hardships, but she does write with wonder about God's enabling power and grace when we obey Him in what He has purposed us to do. We hear amazing stories about people impacted by this American family, people for whom her family's love is tangible. And she points back to us in our comfortable lives and says, what has God created YOU to do? What is holding you back? (The discussion guide at the end of the book makes the challenge personal. This would be an excellent book to do in a small group format.)

We are not all created to go to a foreign mission field, but we are all created by God for something outside ourselves, something radical unto us...because that is the nature of God. Read this book with an honest and inquiring heart, listening to what God may be whispering to you!

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing for review purposes.

Read chapter one here.

When God is helpless?

God is helpless. Powerless. Numb.

Let's be real, ok? Who besides me has ever felt this way? Who besides me has looked at circumstances in his or her life and thought, God, I know You created the world and parted the Red Sea and broke the power of death on the cross, but this thing in my life is just too big for You. Be honest now.

I'll be honest. I had that experience this week. Despite specific promises I know He has made to me, I told Him this week that I just don't see how You can get me from here to there. Can't happen. Impossible. Yes, I lead an intercessory prayer team. I can believe with absolute certainty His promises and His power for YOU. It's me I have trouble with. Darn it.

In Jeremiah 32, the prophet is in prison. Jerusalem is under siege. It's eventually going to be taken by the Babylonians and utterly destroyed. Yet God tells Jeremiah to buy land from his relative because someday there will be real estate dealings again. People will come back from captivity and rebuild and resume business dealings with each other. Jeremiah obeys and purchases the land.

But then he gets real with God: hey, I know You created everything, are mighty beyond all understanding, and that nothing is impossible for You. But this thing, Lord? I just can't see this in our future, cause all I see are enemy soldiers surrounding our city while we starve and die and the only outcome for those who don't is being dragged off to captivity in a foreign land. You can't do THiS thing. You're powerless in this one. I just can't see it.

God says, yep, I did create everything. I am mighty beyond all understanding. And nope, nothing is impossible for me. Yes, things are gonna get worse before they get better but then I am going to make this land beautiful and prosperous once more...once the hearts of this people have returned to Me. Oh, Jeremiah, it's gonna be so cool.

So I asked God to confirm to me the promises He's made over my life. Did You REALLY say this, Lord? I opened my Bible, picking up where I left off the day before, and within 10 pages I found the exact verses of that promise written in the margin. And all this week He has said in a variety of ways, at every turn--hang in there. Don't give up. I said what I meant and I meant what I said. I am gonna do this thing. Trust Me.

No, He isn't helpless. Or powerless. Or numb. He is mighty beyond all belief and His love is overwhelming and His plans are good and His timing is perfect. He is the God of "meanwhile" working behind the scenes to bring all things together for good. We can only see the trees but He sees the forest. Trust Him. Hang on. Don't give up. He's gonna do the thing.

And it's gonna be so cool.

"I am the LORD, the God of all the people's of the world. Is anything too hard for Me?" Jeremiah 32:26.

Sonlighting

So another February--the 8th in our homeschool journey--and it happens all over again. I'm burned out. The kids are burned out. School drags. I know to expect it, and it's a common phenomenon in homeschool families.

The curriculum I've been using for nearly all our school years is a fantastic, complex, rich curriculum written by a wise and godly woman. However, I am the weak link! It is like a huge buffet of possibilities each week in several subjects that the teacher chooses from and plans accordingly. Here's the problem: by February, I am so tired of doing lesson plans each weekend and keeping up with interlibrary loan orders that I am basically throwing meat, potatoes and a roll on my kids' educational plates.

This February, when I felt it coming on, I called for a week's vacation and started dreaming about a curriculum I've wanted to do for several years, called Sonlight. It's school in a box...lesson plans all done for me (including things like maps and timelines and discussion questions for every book) and all books included. It's literature-based, which means tons of excellent historical fiction we read all together and, instead of textbooks, engaging resources. I found a year-plan that starts historically right where we are (just after the Reformation)and that, because we're so late in the school year, I can take at a relaxed pace and stretch throughout all next year.

Sounds great but...it's expensive to buy new. I look on used curriculum boards...nothing. Email a coordinator from our class day, who I don't know personally but who I know uses Sonlight, to ask her some questions. I download the three week free sample lesson plans for both boys' grade levels and run around to get the books at the library. I figure it was kinda stepping out on the water but if nothing came of it, at least we'd get a three week breath of fresh air. And of course I am praying.

Well, a week later the class day coordinator not only emails me back with the answers I needed, but also offers me the use of her curriculum for Noah's level for as long as I need it...no charge. Wow. Then I find the lesson plans for Luke's level (just gonna library the books) for $20 on a homeschool board. And suddenly, we're Sonlighting and school has life again! The books are great. The writing assignments fit Noah. The workload is lighter. I just open the day's plan and go. I am so thankful.

And, I have learned again that the body of Christ is so unlike the world. I told this woman how grateful I am and promised to "pay it forward" when I am in a position to bless another homeschool mom...and she started to cry. We had a couple moments to stand in the courtyard and talk about God's generosity to us and how very, very good He is. And yesterday I did get to pay some stuff forward to another homeschooling mom, pulling books and an instructional DVD from my shelves that she needed. It felt great.

God's in the details, my friends! Even...or especially...in February!
If you would like more information on Sonlight, go here

P.s.

I feel like I need to clarify something in my previous post. My journey to becoming a follower of Jesus wasn't one of ignorant depravity and then sudden revelation that there really is a Savior. I grew up in church...just not in the Word. I always wanted relationship...but thought it was conditional on keeping the rules (which I never could, finally deciding I didn't want to anymore). Rather it was about a progression of life circumstances that finally led to my understanding He loves me and invites me to come close to His heart, through salvation, through Bible study, through fellowship with other believers, through prayer. That He is accessible and available in a personal way. That He wants me separated to Him not because He wants me to follow rules but because He has spiritual purposes for my life. And once I got all that, I was in with no turning back!

Truly an awesome God!

I had a weird autobiographical moment the other night.

I was sitting in my church, waiting for evening service to begin. Treasuring a few quiet moments without having to answer a kid's question, break up a fight (do y'all seem to notice I mention that a lot on this blog? Sorry.), or clean up a mess. Looking forward to worship and prayer. Background music was playing. Suddenly, I heard a song begin that immediately jolted me back 20 years:

I was walking up the hallway at San Luis Rey Hospital, the New Life Treatment Center adolescent unit. I was the Clinical Coordinator for this Christian treatment program, but I wasn't a Christian. WHAT?! I had been hired by a friend from graduate school who apparently wasn't too choosy about my walk with Jesus. I had been responsible for her getting shifts at a homeless teen shelter where I was a case manager, and I guess she figured we made a good team.

The Christian nurses of this hospital (who were SLR employees, not NLTC ) would often request to work our unit, because it gave them freedom to pray with kids, talk about the Lord, and use the Bible for counsel. They often talked to me about the Bible, but I thought they were weird. They talked to me about salvation, but I thought they were a bit fanatic. I liked working with them, but I was a clinical professional thankyouverymuch (that's another phrase I think I am gonna use often here), and didn't need this Christian stuff.

OH how I am now SO SO thankful that they prayed for me, told me the Truth, and never gave up on me. I so wish I could talk with those nurses today and tell them their prayers were answered!

But back to the hallway. I was walking up to 3pm change of shift report, to be the clinical input for the nurses who were coming on for the evening and make sure everything was set to run smoothly. (Mostly because I didn't like that darn beeper of mine going off. Oh did I hate that beeper). Our NLTC youth pastor was out sick that day and a pastor from Calvary Chapel north county was filling in...he was married to the head nurse :-)  The kids were in the dayroom, and he was leading them in "Our God is an Awesome God." I stopped in my tracks. Something about that song was grabbing my heart. I got tears in my eyes. Suddenly I wanted that. I wanted that God. I wanted to worship. I wanted to sit in that room with those kids (who would rather NOT be sitting in that room, mostly) and sing. Suddenly Jesus was real, casual, accessible. But the staff was waiting and I had to wipe off those tears and go to my meeting.

I'd like to say I walked into the meeting and said, "Hey, I'm ready to accept this Jesus you are always telling me about! Who's got a Bible for me?" but I didn't. This was maybe 1992. Shortly the center would close and we'd all lose our jobs, the day after I found out I was pregnant with our second son. The next couple years would involve an unsuccessful move to another state and back again, lots of problems (mostly my own fault, of course), and finally, in 1995, Mission Valley Christian Fellowship and redemption. But to this day, I point back to that day and mark it as the moment I first knew this Bible Christian thing was the real deal and I wanted it.

So Wednesday night I hear this song start and I have this amazing gratitude moment. You know how those are? I think back to that selfish, shallow young woman who just wanted a job that made some money, no matter who I had to pretend to be....and to the woman who today is standing so solid inside Jesus that now I'm the fanatic. Ha. To think God knew that day that He was going to take me from who I was in that hallway and give me four sons into whom I would pour in the Word, two of whom have been involved in worship ministry (and who, as I'm thinking about it, I hope will someday lead me in worship to that song. Wouldn't that be so God.). He has given me a man who has stayed by my side all these years and loves that I love Jesus. He has graciously and beyond all comprehension given me a ministry where He trusts me to, in His name, storm strongholds in intercession. Really, Lord? Stunning. Unfathomable.

Our God truly is an awesome God.

Give no ground

I was awakened this morning by a text at 3:30am to pray. I prayed for a long time, because the people involved are precious to my heart. Got up, read my Bible, prayed some more. Felt the strength of God's power to intervene in the situation. Intercession is real.

However, a few more hours into my day, I started to feel discouraged about some related relationships in my life. Could feel the weariness of being up so early meshing with that discouragement like waves that merge and then break together. Started to forget that early morning strength and power.

I was sitting in the car doing Luke's Bible with him while we waited for Noah to get out of book club (homeschool plug:it's so portable!). It was the story of King Ahab (he was a bad guy, but that isnt the point in this vignette) telling the king of Syria sure, you can take my wives and kids and silver and gold--whatever it takes to keep you happy and me safe. However, the Syrian king soon sent another messenger: now my servants are going to ransack your homes and take whatever they want. Ahab freaked out. He ended up getting good counsel, saying nope, enough's enough, you can't take any more--and condensing the story, he fought against Syria and whomped them with God's help.

I was explaining to Luke that it was because Ahab had given in in the first place that Syrian king came back for more. And it clicked. Why give the enemy any ground in the first place? Which I was doing, thankyouverymuch, by letting him bum me out with the discouragements of the day. That early morning intercession, I know, was whomping the enemy, and he wanted to come rip off some of my faith and peace of mind.

Nope, not gonna let him. I prayed again, put my faith back on straight, and got back in the game. Took a nap :-) and went to worship/prayer service at church where I went up for a dear friend and her husband to pray over the situations for me. More intercession. Bam!

Faith is ebb and flow. Rough things happen. None of us are invincible. Discouragement cloud banks roll in and sometimes they stay awhile. It's a definite struggle for me and sometimes it takes a while before the sun breaks through again. But today, I just managed to see it, catch it, punch through it. Gave no ground.

"Faith is the confidence of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen." Hebrews 11:1

Book Review:One Nation, Under Attack

"Indeed, I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that His justice cannot sleep for ever." Thomas Jefferson

"I also believe that without His concurring aid we shall succeed in this political building no better than the Builders of Babel." Benjamin Franklin

Grant Jeffrey was a prophetic voice for our country since 1988. He wrote 28 books dedicated to rightly dividing the word of God regarding the end times. He loved his country fervently and desired all to come into personal relationship with Jesus Christ. After submitting the manuscript for One Nation, Under Attack, God called him home. It makes this book even more compelling.

In One Nation, Under Attack, Jeffrey predicts an "economic Armageddon" for the United States in the near future. Relentlessly pounding out facts and figures, he strips away the reality presented to the American picture by a socialist president and a liberal Congress, exposing the truth about our national debt and our rapidly deteriorating financial state; a condition assisted silently by elite wealthy financiers around the world and, in particular, a nation that is literally buying up America. This economic cataclysm will be exponentially worse than our crash of 2008 and will, he says, destroy the "American Empire", leaving us powerless to defend ourselves internally or internationally.

He presents in clear, no holds barred fashion the true state of our nation and what we can do to protect ourselves from its collapse. Further, he points to biblical prophecies revealing that the growing economic crises of Europe will soon clear the stage for the Antichrist to assume power, with America no longer in any military condition to oppose him.

Jeffrey wasn't a doomsdayer, nor a date-setter. He makes it clear that he loved America and what it was founded to be. Appendices titled "The Clear Intent of the Founding Fathers" and "How Past Leaders Relied on God" remind us of the true biblical roots of the United States.

Jeffrey's passion and urgency make this book, though filled with financial talk that is not my forte, an attention-getter. It would behoove every American to read this book so as not to be caught unawares in the days, months, or years ahead. Jeffrey's last act here on earth was to warn us; we would do well to pay attention.

I received this book for free from Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing for review purposes.

More info on Grant Jeffery here

I can hear clearly now...well, getting there

The song goes like this:
"I can see clearly now, the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day"--Johnny Nash

For me, it's more about hearing than seeing. I've had way too much stuff in my head for way too long, and that's led to distraction and detours from where I really think I'm supposed to be living my life. Not sure I see all the obstacles yet :-) and not sure all the dark clouds are gone :-/ but have been enjoying some pretty sunshiny days!

I've spent the last three weeks really purposing to re-orient my life. As I mentioned in my previous post, I deleted my Facebook app (not my Facebook...not feeling that call yet!). I shut my phone off a lot. Changed our homeschool curriculum, with fantastic results in just a week, to everyone's delight. Been walking more with the dogs and kids, listening to Bible study podcasts. Been turning off the kids' TV shows a lot more in the evenings. We play Scrabble. We read. Yesterday we drove to the beach and walked in the sand because it was just too gorgeous not to. We watch Veggie Tales ("First Thessa...Thessa..ThessaLUPians!") and Luke's becoming a big fan. I pay attention better when my husband and kids talk to me (and those kids, boy do they talk.......) and thus I'm a better wife and a better mom. I pray more during the day. Scripture washes my mind in little Word showers.

I am hearing God better. Developing a sense of trust and peace in Him. Feeling much better the rhythm of the days, finding myself thanking God for stunning sunsets. Sleeping better. It's amazing how much more life there is when there is less world in it.

You may wonder--ok, what is she saying exactly? We should be Amish? horse and buggy stuff? cut off our cell lines? throw the TV away? Never go see movies or get lost in a game app for awhile? NO. I can be IN the world, but at least for me, I just get too easily too much OF it. Maybe you too?

Do I feel this is for more than just me? Yes. I can't be the only one He's saying, "hey, ditch the blather and let's live life more simply and sanely" to. I think as the days grow closer to His return, He wants His church paying better attention. Being more salty. No dusty light bulbs. I think there's some putting away of strange gods to be done among us, some revival that's waiting to happen. I feel like there's more He's called me to than I am walking in, and I am tired of living less-than. Tired of spinning spiritual wheels. Maybe you too?

Is it a done deal? No way. Is it a process? You bet. And I'm gonna press on. There's a lot more re-ing to do (grin); I feel like I'm still in detox phase. Some days are fabulous. Some days don't seem to look any different than a month ago. And I don't know where I'm going...I just know I really don't want to go back.

Your strength will come from settling down
in complete dependence on me...Isaiah 30:15, the Message