Boy mom

I have a husband and four sons. I am the only woman in the house. I do not know why I never had a little girl. Perhaps it was that meltdown moment late in my first pregnancy when I called my husband, crying hysterically something about being terrified the baby would be a girl, because I wouldn't know how to put bows in her hair. God probably shrieked and put me on the NO DAUGHTERS EVER list. Two of my sons are now adults at 22 and 19, but they still live at home. Number three will be a teenager later this month, and number four, who has perhaps more testosterone than all other three combined, just turned nine. I have emergency-roomed through split lips, smashed foreheads, concussions (mostly #1 son), probably 100 stitches, football injuries, car soap consumption and a broken bone (I know, only one--weird, right?!). Journeyed through Sesame Street, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Barney, Handy Manny, and Bob the Builder. Stepped on GI Joes, Legos, plastic guns, blocks, balls, jacks, Furbees, Nano-pets, and remote control cars/planes/trucks/boats. I have never put bows in a little girl's hair--although three of the four boys went through a Jedi braid phase and would line up each morning asking, "Mom, can you do my braid?" Now, braids I could do. I've never painted a pink wall, put up frilly curtains, or been a cry-on-shoulder-about-a-boyfriend-watch-a-Lifetime-movie-eat-chocolate-ice-cream companion. Never had the "now you're a woman" talk. Sometimes thinking about all this makes me sad; I feel like I've missed some vital part of passing on who I am to a mini-me. Contrarily,sometimes I'm really grateful I never to face the mini-me (I was a pretty terrible mess of hormone-emotions around junior high and completely deserve to have had several of me as payback). I deal with my sad moments by jokingly proclaiming that my household should breathe a huge sigh of relief that there's only one set of female emotions to deal with. I frequently and sagely nod to young mothers that boys are so easy--throw them in the shower and give them a big plate of food, and the world is right again. I am usually hailed as deserving of some special award for being a mom of many sons, but the truth is there is always this little niggle of---I wonder what it would have been like to have a little girl. I do wait for daughters-in-law and granddaughters. I guess there will be something "completing" in that for my life. Maybe I'll even get that hair bow thing right! The truth is, I HAVE loved being a boy mom. There is something about a little guy's (and eventually, a big guy's) love for his mom that is pretty special. I have had a blast being in the midst of noise and dirt and mad and yeah, it really is easier than drama and PMS. I have loved Legos (ok, except maybe at 3am in a dark room)and muscle-man tackles and dirty socks and the ridiculousness of how some of those ER injuries happened. Here's to my boys---and, perhaps, to someday watching a Lifetime movie and sharing a gallon of chocolate ice cream with one of their daughters.